


Sa Umaabot

by lathala



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Age Difference, Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Office, Angst, First Love, M/M, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Time Skips, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: Filipino
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 14:00:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29403045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lathala/pseuds/lathala
Summary: They used to plan their dreams together, yet Shouyou doesn’t know how it happened when Kiyoomi starts building his future without Shouyou in it anymore.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Comments: 6
Kudos: 10





	1. Sinugdanan

**Author's Note:**

> **important:** not everyone who is older than you is as kind as kiyoomi in this fic so please, be careful. also, the dialogues are written in bisaya.

**2015**

The first time Shouyou saw Kiyoomi, it was a Monday night at the konbini he started working.

Well, he didn’t actually saw him the moment he entered the store because he was too preoccupied with the influx of assignments their professors gave them when it was just their first day of college. He heard him first before he saw him. With his head down, eyes flickering between his notebook and cellphone, he didn’t notice Kiyoomi standing in front of the counter. 

“Kabalo ba ka nga what you’re doing is unethical?” Those were the first words he uttered.

Surprised and ashamed, Shouyou looked up like a deer caught in headlights. Setting aside his school stuff, he immediately took the items on Kiyoomi’s hands, scanning them and placing them on a black bag in swift motions. “¥600 po ang total, Sir.”

When Kiyoomi gave him the exact amount, he quickly grabbed the black bag on the counter, and then he turned around to leave the store. Although, before he could exit through the doors, he glanced back at Shouyou, who was busy operating the cash register. Groaning internally, he went back by the counter, impatiently tapping his office shoe on the white-tiled floor until Shouyou would regard him.

And, he did.

There was a surprised look on his face again when his eyes landed on Kiyoomi. “Naa kay nakalimtan, Sir?”

“Imong assignment.” Was the only thing he said which made Shouyou tilt his head in confusion. “Business Management imong course?”

Shouyou nodded, not really knowing where this was going. “Yes po. Medyo dili lang nako masabtan ang topic. Sorry, if it bothered you po.”

“May I see your answer?”

Shouyou squeaked loudly, grabbing his notebook and clutching it close to his chest. “Ngano? Imo pa lang kataw-an akong answer.” 

Kiyoomi scoffed. “I’m trying to help you here.”

Then realization dawned into Shouyou as he hesitantly gave Kiyoomi his notebook. The older guy took it, his eyes scanning over his notebook, and Shouyou could not calm himself down when in the midst of Kiyoomi scrutinizing his answer, his eyebrows furrowed.

“Uh, naa’y mali, Sir?” Shouyou asked in such a tiny voice, completely intimidated.

Kiyoomi closed the notebook, giving it to him back. “Everything’s correct. However, imong grammar needs to do a little bit of fixing.” Shouyou, being the complete idiot that he was, only stared at Kiyoomi in complete disbelief. “But that’s fine. You did good for someone who doesn’t quite understand this topic.”

“Ah, okay.” Shouyou said, quite dumbly. He really couldn’t help but think, do part-time workers really experience weird incidents like this during their shift? Such as customers helping you out in your assignment that you are struggling with? Despite the suddenness of the whole situation, Shouyou offered Kiyoomi a wide grin. “Thank you po sa tabang, Sir.”

Kiyoomi only nodded in response, and then he was out of the store in a few seconds.

Needless to say, Shouyou did get a good remark for his first assignment. The only problem was that he didn’t bother reconstructing his explanation like what Kiyoomi told him to do, which was Shouyou’s fault, honestly. But, it was fine.

__________________

There were not as many people as usual inside the konbini: three teenage girls chatting rather loudly with each other at the chips section. A man who just bought four packs of cigarettes and then he went out of the store to smoke at the designated area. Fed up with the same old music that kept playing on the store’s speakers, Shouyou zoned out the rest of the song; instead, he found amusement in listening to the teenage girls talking amongst themselves.

So far, everything was going fine, even if the three teenage girls left the store a few minutes ago. It was fine until it was not.

Not when Kiyoomi came back into the konbini on a Friday night, still wearing his work clothes. 

Startled, Shouyou quickly leaped off the stool to hide behind the counter. He was afraid of facing the older guy, especially if he would ask about the result of the assignment he made. He was also scared of making himself look like an idiot again. Once was already enough.

“Ngano ka nagatago?” He heard him ask, and the sudden voice shocked him to the point of bumping his head on the slightly ajar drawer. Shouyou winced in pain, and Kiyoomi just stared at him blankly.

“Naa lang ko’y gipangita, Sir.”

Kiyoomi for sure didn’t believe his lame excuse, but he didn’t bother mentioning it. Rather, he asked him something that Shouyou was dreading not to hear from him. “So, how was your assignment? Dako imong score?”

Shouyou rubbed his nape, sheepishly. “Yes po. Pero, wala nako gi-ayos akong grammar gaya sa imong giingon.” 

“Ah, mao diay nitago ka pagkita nimo sa ako?” Kiyoomi raised his eyebrow, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “Hadlok ka masuko ko?”

“Nasuko man gani ka na nagbuhat lang ko sa akong assignment or basin kalimot na ka ato, Sir.” Shouyou leaned forward, squinting his eyes as if challenging Kiyoomi.

Unfazed, Kiyoomi just shrugged at him. “I still stand by what I said before, it really was unethical. Anyway, nihapit lang ko diri para mangutana regarding sa imong assignment. Glad to hear na dako imong score.”

“Salamat, Sir,.” Shouyou softly replied, leaning back as if he didn’t just narrowed his eyes at him. “Gitabangan man pud ko nimo, so thank you po.”

“You did most of the part, gi-check lang man nako imong answers.” There was no further discussion after that which led Kiyoomi to bid Shouyou goodbye. Albeit a bit awkward, he raised his hand in an attempt to do a wave. Shouyou returned the gesture, but his was more at ease as if he’s done this a thousand of times before.

His boss, Ukai, entered the store just as Kiyoomi was leaving. Walking past each other, his boss managed to catch a glimpse of the customer and there was a look on Ukai’s face as if he recognized Kiyoomi. “Magkaila mo?”

Do they? Shouyou hasn’t even asked for Kiyoomi’s name at that point. And yet, they already had small talks and a tiny bit of banter if you ask him. So, what should he even answer to his boss?

“Nipalit man siya katong Lunes tapos nagsturyahanay mi. So, murag magkaila mi.” He left it at that.

“Ah!” Ukai suddenly chirped. Shouyou made a face of puzzlement at his boss’ reaction. “Kato siya—nisulod diri gahapon, murag naa’y gipangita. Nangutana ko unsa iyahang tuyo, wala man ko gipansin.Bastos nga bata. Pagkahuman nihawa lang pud siya dayon. Ikaw man iyang gipangita tingali.” 

“Huh?” Shouyou spluttered, clearly not prepared to hear that.

Ukai only laughed at his reaction as he entered inside his small office. “Ah basta, total naa naman ko diri, pwede na ka muuli.”

Eager to go home, Shouyou immediately fixed his mess, took his bag out of the small cabinet, and pressed his thumb on the biometrics near his boss’ office. When he was good to go, he bid goodbye to his boss and ran off the store.

Shouyou went home that night with the thought of Kiyoomi coming back to the konbini looking for him. It was impossible. The older guy wouldn’t do that. Right?

__________________

The third time Shouyou happened to stumble upon Kiyoomi, the younger one was slumped back on the wooden chair at a quaint coffee shop, his head falling backward with his eyes closed, exhaustion visible on his face. It has never occurred to him that pursuing college could be so mentally and emotionally draining. On top of that, he thought being in a city like Tokyo would be exhilarating, but all he does is miss the family he left back home in Miyagi to run after his dreams. Mundane – that was what his life currently feels like. This wasn’t really what he was expecting.

“You okay?”

Shouyou froze, slowly opening his eyes and sitting up properly until he caught a glimpse of Kiyoomi standing across his table. It was as if the air in his lungs suddenly left out of his body because out of all the places he expected to see Kiyoomi; it certainly wasn’t in this small coffee shop just a few blocks from his dorm. Shouyou stared at him, his eyes glancing from head to toe. It wasn’t the first time he saw Kiyoomi dressed in his office clothes, but it quite hits differently when he saw it in broad daylight. _Beautiful_.

He shook his head, erasing the thought from his head. Kiyoomi was still staring at him with a worried look in his eyes that Shouyou failed to notice. “Okay lang po.”

“Dili ka kahibaw mangatik.” Kiyoomi mumbled and his reply irked Shouyou.

“Nangutana pa ka, Sir, dili man diay ka mutuo.” Dodging the retort, Kiyoomi sat on the chair across Shouyou instead, leaning back as he folded his arms on his chest. “Nag unsa ka?”

Rather than replying, he asked him. “Nanlisod ka sa imong mga klase?”

Sighing, Shouyou nodded. “Bobo man gud ko.” He blurted out before he could stop himself. He really didn’t mean to be pessimistic, but truthfully speaking, Shouyou knew he wasn’t academically inclined ever since high school. Even so, that didn’t stop him from taking a leap of faith. He can’t give up now. Not when he tried so hard and struggled balancing his studies and part-time job.

Kiyoomi squinted his eyes at him in distaste. “Dili ka bobo. You just need a little help, pero dili ka bobo.” Utterly astonished, Shouyou couldn’t think of a response, so he just let out a resigned sigh that didn’t go unnoticed by Kiyoomi. “Take a small break. Ako na ani.” 

Sitting back on his chair comfortably, he was unsure of what he was supposed to do or react. So, Shouyou just watched Kiyoomi in bemusement as he diligently scanned through his notes. He didn’t even know why this guy in front of him has been helping him with his schoolwork willingly. If he was frank, he was skeptical about this whole thing. Who would actually take their time, especially a stranger, to help another stranger—a college student—with his assignments? This curly-haired guy, probably.

Thoughts began to run in his head, such as: what if this guy would ask money from him in return? What if he was being punked? What if he was doing this so that he can tell Shouyou that he owes him? What if he’d use this as a form of bribery so he can order Shouyou around? _Patay na_ , he thought. He should probably ask for his name for future purposes if his assumptions would end up being true.

“Sir,” Shouyou suddenly called out. Kiyoomi snapped his head up to look at him. “Wala pa baya ko kabalo sa imong pangalan. Murag lisod pud na kulot akong itawag sa imo.”

Unexpectedly, Kiyoomi laughed at this and Shouyou wasn’t expecting his stomach churning at the sound. “Kiyoomi Sakusa. Ikaw?”

“Shouyou. Shouyou Hinata.” He answered. Kiyoomi only hummed in response before going back to scan the papers messily scattered on the table. “Can I ask pila na imong edad?”

Kiyoomi dropped the pen he was holding, staring up at Shouyou through his lashes. “I don’t know, can you?”

Shouyou rolled his eyes. “So?”

“Twenty-five," Kiyoomi answered. "and I’m guessing eighteen na ka?”

Shouyou nodded. With the way, Kiyoomi looks fairly young, clad in a cream-colored polo shirt tucked neatly in the dark trousers that fit perfectly on him, Shouyou wouldn't have guessed he was twenty-five. In contrast to him, dressed in a hoodie and sweatpants, and most likely, his hair unkempt. He probably looks older than Kiyoomi due to stress and sleep deprivation.

However, the fact that he was seven years older than Shouyou, and he was dressed in office clothes, shouldn't he be working at this hour? Or, does he have anything better to do with his life rather than being stuck here with him.

Before Shouyou could stop his mouth from running wild, he asked. "Wala kay trabaho? I mean, I appreciate all the help ha, pero nagawonder lang ko since gasuot ka _ana_.”

Kiyoomi looked at Shouyou quizzically, then down at his clothes, then back to Shouyou. "Naa ko’y trabaho kaso coffee break nako. Accidentally found you in the middle of a crisis and naisip nako it’s about school so I decided nga muduol nimo.”

"Huy!" Shouyou exclaimed, indignant. "Ikaw man diay dapat ang mag rest or mag-enjoy sa imong leisure time, ngano ginatabangan man ko nimo?"

Kiyoomi waved him off. "It's fine, sa tinuod lang." Shouyou was about to protest, but Kiyoomi continued talking. "Makita man gud nako akong sarili sa imo when I was still in college. Lisod kaayo, so I suppose offering a hand would help lessen the burden you’re carrying.”

There was only silence that loomed between them, then Kiyoomi added: "Pero, if it makes you uncomfortable that I’m meddling sa imong ginabuhat,” he points at the papers, “pwede ko nimo ingnan, okay? No hard feelings.”

"Ay, dili. Okay lang. Okay lang jud kaayo ka.” He assured him. "Curious lang jud ko ngano willing ka mutabang sa ako tapos naging suspicious ko with your intention, basin og naa kay gusto ipabuhat in return.”

Kiyoomi quirked an eyebrow and Shouyou nervously laughed. "If dili pa ba obvious, pobre mi. Dili mi kwartahan, so dili tika mabayaran kung i-tutor man ko nimo."

"I’m not asking you to pay me. Just consider this as an act of kindness." Kiyoomi told him, a soft smile gracing his lips.

It was a nice sight to behold—Kiyoomi smiling. Sure, they only met three times if you count their encounter today, and so far he's seen the guy with a stoic expression all the time. Therefore, seeing him smile like that was enough for Shouyou's heart to skip a beat inside his chest.

"Sige, pero..." He bit his lip, unsure if he was really going to say it or just leave it at that. "Ayaw i-compromise imong break time para sa ako? Please?"

Kiyoomi nodded in understanding, then an idea suddenly popped into his mind. "Magtrabaho ka ugma?"

"MWF lang akong work schedule, so wala."

"How about this, tabangan tika sa imong school works tomorrow. Wala man pud ko’y buhaton."

Shouyou eyed him, skeptically. _Seryoso jud kaya siya?_ He went quiet for a moment, unsure of what to reply. He got Kiyoomi's point though, as to why he wants to help, but what else would he gain from this? Shouyou's the only one who can benefit if he agrees.

After a few minutes of silence, rather than answering, he asked him. "Sure na jud ka ani? Like, really, _really_ , sure?"

"As long as okay ka with this, then I'm sure." Kiyoomi simply answered.

"Okay, sure." Shouyou nodded in agreement, then Kiyoomi gave him his phone and he had a hard time figuring out what he was supposed to do.

"Let's exchange phone numbers para mas dali atong pag communicate."

Realizing what he meant, Shouyou immediately grabbed his own phone on the table, giving it to Kiyoomi as he took his phone with his other hand. When they were done typing in their contact details, they switched phones again and Shouyou shoved his phone into the pocket of his sweatpants.

Kiyoomi took a glimpse of the watch on his wrist, then he said, "Mubalik nako sa akong trabaho. I’ll see you tomorrow at ten in the morning?”

Shouyou internally groaned because waking up early on a Sunday morning was something he despises. However, he agreed since this is the least he can do for Kiyoomi. After they exchanged their goodbyes and Kiyoomi left the coffee shop, Shouyou slumped back in his seat, sighing loudly and heavily. _Unsa man ni akong gisudlan nga set-up?_

__________________

Later that evening, when he was about to sleep, he took his phone under his pillow and decided to text Kiyoomi.

**[Me, 12:02 AM]** hello sakusa ask k lng unsa imo fave food? (o˘◡˘o)

 **[Kiyoomi, 12:02 AM]** The way ka mag type is so atrocious.

Shouyou didn't have any clue what atrocious meant. So, he chose to ignore it.

**[Kiyoomi, 12:03 AM]** I like umeboshi. Ngano man?

 **[Me, 12:03 AM]** wala lng hehe!! (๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ

 **[Me, 12:04 AM]** ay hehe pwede diay muhulat k sa imo sa konbini? wala k kahibaw asa inyo haus

 **[Kiyoomi, 12:04 AM]** Okay, I'll come pick you up then.

 **[Me, 12:04 AM]** oki!! (´｡• ᵕ •｡`)

Shouyou's fingers paused, contemplating whether he should send another message or not. _Bahala na_ , he thought as he hit send.

**[Me, 12:07 AM]** goodnight sakusa! (⌒‿⌒)

 **[Kiyoomi, 12:07 AM]** Good night, Hinata.

Shouyou slept that night with a smile on his lips.

__________________

Morning came, and Shouyou found himself standing outside the konbini, holding a black bag filled with food and drinks as a form of compensation since he couldn’t pay him in monetary form. He waited patiently, leaning against a pillar where he could be easily seen, kicking stones that were gathered around his feet. 

Looking for something that would appease the growing boredom he felt, he decided to take a good glimpse of the area. He never used to bat an eye at this place since he couldn’t see clearly during his night shift at the konbini. But, he decided that today was a good day to try something new.

And he wasn’t disappointed.

A few people were biking and wandering, the birds were chirping as they flew across the cloudless sky, and the sun was up bursting its sunlight, but it didn’t burn his skin like Shouyou expected it to be. Instead, it was warm and radiant.

Kiyoomi arrived at precisely ten in the morning. He wasn’t wearing anything fancy, just in his home clothes. Seeing him dressed like this made Shouyou comfortable because it felt as if he was meeting a new friend he made in college.

“Good morning. I hope wala ka naghulat sa ako og dugay.” Kiyoomi said upon reaching where Shouyou was standing.

“Okay lang, no worries..” Shouyou smiled and then he remembered the black bag he was holding. “Ay, nagpalit diay ko’g umeboshi ug drinks para snacks.”

“Ah,” Kiyoomi exclaimed as if he figured something out. “Mao diay nangutana ka sa ako last night kung unsa akong favorite food.”

Abashed, Shouyou looked away as he nodded. “It’s the least I can do.”

“Well then, thank you.” Kiyoomi smiled, but it was gone as quickly as it appeared. “Tara?”

The walk from the konbini to Kiyoomi’s apartment was such a short distance that Shouyou didn’t even notice he was already standing in front of Kiyoomi’s door. Then, it hit him.

_Unsa man ni akong ginabuhat? Ngano naa man ko diri?_

How could Kiyoomi be so confident and comfortable in inviting Shouyou into his apartment? How could Shouyou also be so assured that Kiyoomi wasn’t a bad person? They didn’t even know each other aside from their names and ages. They only met thrice, and two of their interactions were Kiyoomi helping Shouyou with his studies, and one was them just talking—still about Shouyou’s assignments. How could a twenty-five-year-old guy, who has a job, willingly help an eighteen-year-old boy with university responsibilities? Was Kiyoomi okay about all of this?

Before he could cloud his thoughts with doubt, Kiyoomi patted him on his shoulder. “Nagluto ko for breakfast just in case wala pa ka ning kaon.”

“Uy, nice ka.” Shouyou replied, unintelligently.

Kiyoomi snorted as he opened the door of his apartment. They both took off their shoes at the doorway and then Kiyoomi led them to the kitchen where there was a small dining table with two plates filled with pancakes, and there were also two mugs placed neatly beside it.

The apartment was cozy, yet minimalistic with the monochromatic walls, decors and furniture that complimented the marble flooring and the succulents that were lined up at the window sills. The apartment wasn’t big per se, but with how organized and clean it was, it created an illusion that it was spacious. Kiyoomi’s apartment really felt like his.

“Lalom kaayo imong ginaisip ganina ba. Klaro kaayo with the way the wrinkles on your forehead were showing.” Kiyoomi suddenly spoke as he sat on the chair. Shouyou sat across from him, embarrassed and afraid that he got caught. “Sala pud nako for appearing so out of the blue unya I’m doing all of these things when dili pa kaayo ta magkaila. Pero, believe me, I don’t have any ulterior motives with this.”

“Ang akoa lang man gud ba, naa kay trabaho ug malay ko ba if naa kay mas maayong buhaton sa imong pasttime, pero ngano kani? Ngano pagtudlo sa ako?” Shouyou couldn’t help but ask.

“Sa tinuod lang at first pakialamero lang jud ko, and maybe a bit of a perfectionist tungod kay I already took a glimpse sa imong answers before pa ko nangutana if I could borrow your notebook, then I knew I had to say something. Then, pagkaugma ato, I don’t know pero I came back in hopes na makita tika and at least check how your assignment went.” Kiyoomi explained.

It made Shouyou look back to the time when he thought his boss, Ukai, was lying when he told him that Kiyoomi was looking for him. _So, tinuod jud diay._

“I thought that would be the end, you know? Wala ko nag-expect na makita tika sa coffee shop, obviously stressed out. Kabalo ko na you were having a hard time surviving college kay I’ve been in your shoes before, and I guessed you were also having a hard time adjusting in a new city, tama?”

“Oo,” Shouyou sighed. “Gikan jud ko sa Miyagi. Gibilin nako akong pamilya para lang mag college.”

“So, you see, naa’y part sa ako nga ga-isip that maybe you don’t need my help, nga I should just leave you alone. Pero, naa pud isa ka part sa ako na gusto mag reach out because it’s difficult. Too difficult to be in a city where you’re unfamiliar with and you’re miles away from your family.”

Their food has probably gone cold by now, but Shouyou was far more interested as to what Kiyoomi still has to say.

“I chose the latter, obviously. Kaso, dili jud nako intention to scare you. Gusto lang jud nako makatabang just to make things easier for you, but I think it came off the wrong way, so I apologize.”

Shouyou drew in a sharp breath, not seeing this conversation coming. Frankly, what Kiyoomi did for Shouyou was quite dubious at the beginning. And yet, hearing his reason, the younger one couldn’t even grasp the idea that someone out there—a stranger—was nice enough to be there for him.

“Thank you, Sakusa.” Shouyou was really at loss for words, but he hoped that was enough to convey how sincerely thankful he was for the older guy.

“Kung gusto ka, we can get to know each other. Para in that way, maging comfortable ta with each other.” Kiyoomi suggested, taking a bite of his pancake.

Shouyou followed suit since he was getting kind of hungry too. “Sige, so, magsugod ko’g share kay oversharer baya ko.”

On that fine Sunday morning, Shouyou learned that Kiyoomi was born and raised in Tokyo, he has two older siblings. However, his parents were now living in a peaceful suburban area, which he often visits when he has the time, while his siblings were working abroad and have their own families now. Shouyou also found out that Kiyoomi was a Business Management graduate and worked at MSBY Inc.—one of the top-rising technology companies in Japan.

“Seryoso? Big time man diay kaayo ka.” Shouyou amusingly said.

Kiyoomi chuckled, “Yes, seryoso. Pero, dili pa nako matawag akong sarili as big time tungod kay I’m working really hard right now to be promoted as the General Manager since I was informed nga qualified ko for the position.”

“ _Yawa_. Humble pa ka, big time man jud diay ka.” His voice was teasing and Kiyoomi couldn’t help but be smug about his job. Shouyou didn’t mind it though, Kiyoomi has every right to be proud of what he has achieved since he obviously worked extremely hard to be in that company.

On the other hand, Kiyoomi learned that Shouyou only has his mother and younger sister. He didn’t disclose any information about his father, and Kiyoomi didn’t push it, which Shouyou was grateful for. Shouyou also mentioned that he was a Business Management student since no other course caught his attention. This made Kiyoomi laugh.

“Well, studying business can be quite boring at times, pero most of the time it’s complex if you’ll be delving more into major topics. Pero para sa ako, what really matters most kay ang trabaho na imong i-pursue after you graduate because if you can’t work at a place that doesn’t excite you every waking morning, then it’s quite useless.”

Shouyou nodded, understanding what Kiyoomi meant. “Okay lang man diba? Na dili pa nako isipon ang mga trabaho or specifically ang future karon?”

“Yeah, there’s no need to rush. Daghan pa ka’g oras to figure out the things na gusto ug dili nimo gusto buhaton.” His words gave some sort of assurance and relief to Shouyou.

This wasn’t really what Shouyou had in mind when he agreed to meet up with Kiyoomi, but it was nice. Great, even. And without even knowing how or when it evolved into a habit, they started spending every Sunday with each other’s company.

**2016**

At first, Shouyou wasn’t even sure what he should be expecting when he started hanging out with Kiyoomi. Most of the time, Shouyou would lounge on the sofa, watch movies or volleyball matches, and sometimes bring his schoolwork with him if he found it quite challenging to comprehend. Meanwhile, Kiyoomi would welcome him as if he had already lived in his apartment for such a long time. They would either laze around or work on their respective tasks.

Frequently, Kiyoomi would visit Shouyou at the konbini, but other times he wouldn’t due to his work. He would inform the younger by sending a text if he would be coming or not, then he’d add a _Get home safely, Shouyou._ In return, Shouyou would reply with a simple, _thank u omi!! ╰(▔∀▔)╯_

Gone were the formalities and shyness they once harbored the more time they spend together.

Nonetheless, it was fun. Being with Kiyoomi was fun.

But, being with Kiyoomi brought a new feeling to Shouyou, who went into overdrive. He kept thinking what was wrong with him when he started having these weird flutters inside his stomach whenever Kiyoomi would lean towards him from across the table whenever they work or when he would peer over Shouyou’s shoulder from behind to take a peek at his answers.

When his heart would start hammering so loud, he became afraid that Kiyoomi would hear it, especially when he would get too close whenever they would sit too close on such a spacious couch. Shouyou didn’t have any idea as to what was happening.

It all came to a realization that he romantically liked Kiyoomi when he fell asleep in the middle of studying with his arm stretched across the table, using it as a pillow for his head to rest on. However, Shouyou was a light sleeper, so when he suddenly felt a blanket being draped over him, he woke up but decided not to open his eyes yet. He then heard shuffling; he felt Kiyoomi sitting beside him. What he didn’t expect to happen was: Kiyoomi grabbing his hand, which was on his lap, tracing circles on the back of his hand—softly, just barely there, but Shouyou’s breath hitched when Kiyoomi suddenly linked their hands together.

Shouyou knew he should do something because _what the hell was happening?_

And yet, he let Kiyoomi hold his hand a little longer, astonished at how they fit perfectly together.

Figuring out that he has feelings for Kiyoomi wasn’t a _holy shit I have a crush on him, what the fuck do I do?_ moment, it was more of a tiny _oh_ because liking him finally gave light to all these weird sensations he began to experience. Or simply because liking Kiyoomi just felt right.

__________________

With the knowledge that he has feelings for Kiyoomi, Shouyou just carried on with his life. There was no need for confessions because that would only complicate things between them, and that was not what Shouyou wanted. Besides, there were from two different worlds, meaning: Kiyoomi was up there—having a career where he can still grow and a stable life. Shouyou, on the other hand, was a struggling college student who works part-time at the konbini. The older guy would obviously choose someone better, and that was okay. Harsh, but at least it kept Shouyou from getting any false hope.

But that false hope came to test when Kiyoomi called Shouyou on a Thursday night. 

“Omi?” Shouyou questioned, clearly not expecting for the older guy to call him at this hour. “Okay lang ka?”

“Yeah,” Kiyoomi answered. Then, with an obvious tone of happiness in his voice, he added. “Shouyou, I got promoted.”

“ _Yawa?_ Unsa?!” Shouyou shrieked. Tobio, his roommate sent him a glare before going back to whatever he was doing. “Omi, happy kaayo ko para sa imo. Deserve nimo na. Deserve kaayo nimo na.” 

“Thank you, Shouyou.” Kiyoomi breathed out, still a bit dumbfounded by the news. “Actually, nitawag ko because I was wondering if free ka this Sunday?”

“Always man ko free pag Sunday, Omi. Ngano diay?”

“Do you want to celebrate with me?”

Shouyou sat up on his bed briskly, making himself dizzy in the end. “Ako?”

“Yeah.”

 _Ngano ako?_ Shouyou wanted to ask, but the words died down on his tongue before it could even come out. Rather, he asked this: “Wala kay lain tao na kauban mag celebrate?”

_Kalas-kalas ra man ka’g utok, Shouyou._

“Well, ikaw lang man akong gusto kauban para mag celebrate.” Kiyoomi said it so easily it threw Shouyou off-guard. His heart started beating erratically, gripping on the phone in his hands a little bit tightly. Kiyoomi took Shouyou’s silence as a rejection, so he said: “Pero, if you’re busy that day or if dili ka gusto, you can decline. It’s fine, Shouyou.”

Clearly, it wasn’t fine for Kiyoomi, but Shouyou didn’t have to know that.

“Dili!” Shouyou protested. “I mean, sige, I’ll celebrate with you, Omi.”

Kiyoomi seemed to brighten up, his tone a bit livelier than before. “So, I’ll see you at dinner time this Sunday?”

“See you, Omi.” Shouyou mumbled, suppressing himself from blurting out something stupid.

Shouyou may have not seen it, but he knew Kiyoomi was smiling when he uttered, “Good night, Shouyou.”

“Good night.” Shouyou responded after a minute before dropping the call.

When the call ended, Tobio was already sitting at the edge of his bed, his eyebrow raised, intrigued. Shouyou took more than a minute to collect himself—running his hand through his hair, tugging them forcefully until he winced in pain, taking deep breaths in between—before he fully focused his attention on Tobio who stared at him with worried eyes.

“Na promote si Omi.” Shouyou started off with that. “Unya iyaha kong gi-invite this Sunday para mag celebrate daw mi.”

“Oh, unya? Diba ingana man jud inyong ginabuhat? Mag-uban mo pirme every Sunday?” Tobio asked, not having any idea what got Shouyou so worked up.

“Oo gud, pero naa man siya’y friends ug workmates nga pwede niya i-invite para mag celebrate, pero giinvite ko niya. Ako. Tobio, _ako_!” Shouyou wheezed, pointing at himself on the chest. “Unya kabalo ka unsa iyang ingon? Ana siya ako lang daw ang gusto niya kauban para mag celebrate. Unsa’y pasabot niya?”

Realization dawned into Tobio, his mouth forming a tiny ‘o’ and his eyes wide in pure disbelief. “Pisting yawa! Klaro na kaayo nga gusto ka ana niya.”

“Sure bitaw?” Shouyou wanted to entertain the idea of Kiyoomi liking him back, but it felt far-fetched.

“Bobo, na promote siya unya ikaw ang iyahang gusto kauban para mag celebrate. Karon, unsa man ang imong pag interpret ana?”

Shouyou seemed to hesitate for a bit, but then he replied, quite unsurely. “Nangutana siya kay amigo mi?”

Tobio groaned, brows knitting together and his lips pressed into a thin line. “Ikaw na gani mismo niingon sa akoa nga naa siya’y friends ug workmates, pero wala niya giinvite. So, what makes you different from the rest of them, Shouyou?”

Shouyou buried his face into his hands, his legs kicking in frustration. “Yawa, taysa, wala ko kabalo!” He snapped his head up to look at Tobio in anguish.

Getting somehow worried over his friend, Tobio placed both of his hands on the other’s shoulders, gripping them in a placating manner. “Kalma dira. Don’t get too ahead of yourself. Just wait and see how things will play out.”

“Bright lagi ka pag-abot sa gugma pero sa klase kay tanga-tanga ka gamay, ngano man na?” Shouyou joked, trying to lighten up the mood. Offended, Tobio smacked him at the back of his head.

“Oh, unya ikaw bobo ka sa duha.” Tobio huffed as he went back to his own bed.

“Uy, pero thank you, Tobio.” Shouyou mumbled, plopping on his bed. “Nanibago lang ko kay wala pa nako ni na-feel dati. Nagkagusto man ko sa uban tao, pero karon kay lahi man.”

“Gusto jud kaayo nimo si Kiyoomi?”

“Kaayo.”

Liking Kiyoomi was something Shouyou had never seen coming.

Coming to Tokyo, Shouyou was only fixated on college and being able to graduate. He never expected to cross paths with someone like Kiyoomi in the first place. Their personalities don’t even match; their lifestyle and upbringing are way too different.

Shouyou has always been passionate about the things he loves, even if he has to take an extra mile of effort because he wasn’t born on a silver platter. He wasn’t particularly great at anything, so all he has to offer was his determination.

Whereas Kiyoomi was gifted, well, according to Shouyou anyway. Kiyoomi, who was exceptionally smart for his good, was also very meticulous and neat. And, Shouyou, he wasn’t all that.

The last thing that popped in his head before dozing off was: _It’s really impossible not to fall for someone like Kiyoomi Sakusa._

__________________

Sunday came in a blink of an eye, much to Shouyou’s dismay. He barely had an ounce of sleep last night, thinking about what to do, what to wear, or how to act in a way that wouldn’t give away his feelings for the older guy. He kept tossing and turning around on his bed, sheets ruffling noisily, which resulted in a physical fight with Tobio, who had enough of Shouyou’s antics. Sure enough, he did not only have dark circles under his eyes the moment he woke up, but he also had blooming bruises on his arms.

When he was all dressed and prepared, he looked at himself in the mirror one last time. His clothes weren’t anything fancy, just a simple pastel-colored sweater and dark jeans. Shouyou deemed this as presentable enough. Besides, this was just a small celebration in Kiyoomi’s apartment, nothing to get uneasy about.

But, he was. Uneasy about all of this. The feeling intensified when he went out of their dorm and started walking to Kiyoomi’s apartment—the path seemed entirely familiar for Shouyou that it was the only thing that kept him moving forward.

Once he arrived in front of Kiyoomi’s door, these were what he did before knocking: he tried steadying his breathing, counting from one to ten, and clenching and unclenching his fists. Too busy calming himself, the door opened wide, and no amount of soothing himself was enough to prepare his heart when standing right before Shouyou was Kiyoomi, looking perfect as ever.

“Hi, Shouyou.” Kiyoomi said, stepping aside to let him enter. “I’m still setting up the table, then after ana we can have dinner na.”

Shouyou nodded. “Tabangan nalang tika, Omi.”

“Bisita man ka, you shouldn’t be doing that, Shouyou.” Kiyoomi chuckled, padding his way to the kitchen while Shouyou followed him.

“Okay lang uy. Awkward nga mag lantaw lang ko habang busy ka nagaprepare.” He insisted and the older guy’s resolve crumbled down because he knew Shouyou wouldn’t back down that easily.

“Okay, ibutang nalang ning utensils sa table, and then ako na bahala sa food.” Kiyoomi instructed and Shouyou gave him a salute before grabbing the utensils on the kitchen counter. The other cracked a smile at that.

__________________

Dinner was surprisingly pleasant.

They talked about Kiyoomi’s promotion for almost half an hour and Shouyou watched him with a delicate warmth engulfing his heart every single time Kiyoomi’s entire face lit up when talking about his work. His face barely held any emotions, and yet, under the orange hue of the dining room’s light, he looked beautiful. Undeniably so.

Hours after hours of talking, they barely noticed the empty wine bottle on the table that they had consumed minutes ago. Their cheeks were already dusted with a tinge of red, their visions starting to swirl in motion, and their heads beginning to get hazy. Even so, Kiyoomi took all the liberty of cleaning up the contents on the dining table while Shouyou remained seated on the chair, his face buried on the palm of his hands, trying to sober himself up.

It was pointless, really.

“Shouyou,” he heard Kiyoomi softly whisper his name. Shouyou felt the older guy’s presence beside him, so when he removed his hands away from his face and turned his head around to look at Kiyoomi, he was utterly shocked when he found himself in such close proximity with Kiyoomi’s face.

Up close, Shouyou could see how dark Kiyoomi’s orbs were that it would definitely put the darkest core of the Earth in envy. None of them pulled away. Too shocked to move or maybe too enthralled with each other’s eyes that held too many emotions, none of them can decipher each one.

“Shouyou.” Kiyoomi whispered once again, but this time, his breath fanned over Shouyou’s lips that it made his skin tingle akin to goose bumps. “Can I kiss you?”

“Wala ko kabalo, Omi. Can you?” Shouyou knew. He knew that doing this while they were both intoxicated was wrong. However for Shouyou, intoxicated or sober, he still wants to kiss Kiyoomi regardless. “Of course you can.”

Shouyou had imagined kissing Kiyoomi before. He had imagined something cliché like under the pouring rain, perhaps? Or maybe under the starry night sky when it would just be the two of them, and the sound of cicadas and the bustling noise of the city in the background.

Shouyou had imagined kissing Kiyoomi, but this kiss was nothing like that. It wasn’t cliché. Not under the pouring rain nor under the starry night sky. It was just them sitting beside each other at the dining table underneath the pendant lights. 

When Kiyoomi leaned forward and kissed him, his lips were soft yet it tasted like the wine they had earlier. Shouyou was sure he was intoxicated, but now for a different reason. This was nothing like what Shouyou had imagined, but it was definitely a hundred times better.

Kiyoomi pulled away, but his hands were still cupping Shouyou’s cheeks. He was wearing a tiny yet contented smile on his lips, and Shouyou couldn’t help but feel the euphoria blooming inside his heart. However, he should have known that this moment was only fleeting. A too good to be true kind of scenario that he should have seen coming, but he didn’t because being rational was out of the picture.

Thoughts—vile and dark—crept into his skin, slowly yet unyielding. 

_Unsa man ni akong ginabuhat? Seryoso, Shouyou? Sa tanan tao, si Kiyoomi jud? Kataas ba nimo’g pangadoy ni wala pa gani ka katunga sa kung unsa iyahang naabot sa kinabuhi._

Shouyou harshly took Kiyoomi’s hands away from his face and then he stood up, completely ignoring the way the older guy’s face contorted into a pained expression. “Una nako, Omi. Thank you sa dinner and congratulations usab.”

He rushed towards the door, disregarding the hurried calls from Kiyoomi as he descended down the stairs and out of the building. Shouyou may have small feet, but he could run fast because running away from his problems was something he was definitely good at.

Shouyou imagined kissing Kiyoomi, but it didn’t end up like this. In his dreams, he was engulfed by Kiyoomi’s warm embrace and they were both happy. In reality, he was sitting on a curb, blocks away from Kiyoomi’s apartment building, crying his heart out.

Regret started sinking deep in his bones. 

__________________

**[Omi, Mon. 7:09 AM]** Good morning, Shouyou.

 **[Omi, Mon. 7:09 AM]** Can we talk?

 **[Omi, Mon. 9:13 AM]** Shouyou? Are you awake na?

 **[Omi, Mon. 8:12 PM]** Wala ka sa konbini?

 **[Omi, Mon. 8:20 PM]** Ganina pa ko sige’g tawag, it seems like your phone is turned off.

 **[Omi, Mon. 11:08 PM]** Good night, Shouyou.

 **[Omi, Tues. 8:05 AM]** Good morning, Shouyou.

 **[Omi, Tues. 8:06 AM]** I don’t know if you’re reading my messages or not, but I hope we can talk soon.

 **[Omi, Tues. 9:24 PM]** Ngano ka nidagan pagkakita sa ako?

 **[Me, Tues. 9:26 PM]** ~~wala nako kabalo omi~~ **_Message failed to send._ **

**[Me, Tues. 9:26 PM]** ~~ngano sa tanan tao kay sa imo ko nahagbong~~ **_Message failed to send._**

 **[Omi, Wed. 00:02 AM]** Good night, Shouyou.

 **[Omi, Wed. 00:10 AM]** I miss you.

 **[Me, Wed. 00:10 AM]** ~~i miss you too~~ **_Message failed to send._**

 **[Omi, Wed. 10:45 AM]** Good morning, Shouyou. I really want to talk to you.

 **[Me, Wed. 10:48 AM]** ~~mahadlok man ko omi~~ **_Message failed to send._**

 **[Me, Wed. 10:50 AM]** ~~dili pa ko gusto mawala ka~~ **_Message failed to send._**

 **[Omi, Wed. 9:17 PM]** Passed by sa konbini and wala ka.

 **[Omi, Wed. 9:20 PM]** I miss you and it’s driving me crazy. Gusto na tika makita.

__________________

Shouyou’s phone kept on vibrating with new notification coming from Kiyoomi, and even if he had already shoved it underneath his pillows, it was just a futile attempt, really. Itching to view what Kiyoomi had texted him, he would reach out for his phone to read, but he won’t click on the notification to respond because he was too much of a coward to do so.

Frankly speaking, he was scared.

Shouyou never envisioned himself to depend so much on a person when he moved to a big city. He thought he would have to face such cruel circumstances, he felt as though he would barely make it through college, and he thought it would be him against the world. But then Kiyoomi came.

Kiyoomi, who was the total opposite of Shouyou.

He was scared because feelings were never supposed to come in between them. It just happened, and even if he could say that he has no control over it–he actually has. He let himself feel something for Kiyoomi because, with the older guy, Shouyou feels safe. With Kiyoomi around, Tokyo no longer feels like a foreign city; instead, it feels like home. And with home, Shouyou feels loved.

“Ngano wala pa man nimo siya ginapansin?” Tobio had finally asked when Shouyou’s phone won’t seem to stop ringing.

Kiyoomi has been persistently calling Shouyou and the younger guy was too reluctant to answer. Completely unsure of what would be the outcome of their conversation. It would either be: their friendship coming to an end or Kiyoomi actually likes him back. The former seemed more realistic than the latter.

“Diba mao naman ni imong gusto sa sugod pa lang?” Shouyou nodded timidly. He was getting agitated with the way Tobio was standing at the foot of his bed, arms on his hips. “Oh, so what’s stopping you from making things official? Dili man ni maayos ang gubot kung sige lang ka’g dagan instead of facing it head on.”

“Pisti! Mahadlok man gud ko, okay?” Shouyou snapped, his insecurity started dripping out of his mouth before he could even stop. “Naa na tanan kay Kiyoomi. Pwede kaayo sya mupili og tao nga ka-edad niya, nga ka-level niya, unya ako–ang nisulod lang sa akong utok ever since atong incident kay ngano man siya mag settle for someone like me?”

Tobio’s eyes soften. “You know, dili man nimo kailangan muresort into downgrading yourself. Bisan pa’g ingana lang ka karon, you are still worthy to be loved, Shouyou.” Tobio made his way to sit in front of his roommate, cross-legged on the bed. “Tigulang naman si Kiyoomi para makabalo kung tama ba o mali iyahang desisyon sa kinabuhi. You don’t get to decide that for him and we both know na he doesn’t deserve to be left in the dark, Shouyou.”

Shouyou heaved a deep sigh, “Unya what if–“

Tobio decided to cut him off. “Ang tao na makatubag sa tanan what-ifs nimo kay mao pud tong tao na ginalayuan nimo.” He ruffled the other’s hair before standing up. “Sturyaha na lagi siya, Shouyou.” Then, he went inside the comfort room, leaving Shouyou in deep thought.

Well, not for long.

The phone on his hand rang unexpectedly and it made Shouyou jolt in his bed. He already has an inkling idea who was calling, but still, seeing Kiyoomi’s name on his phone screen made his heart thump out of nervousness.

He calmed himself down, regulated his breathing, counted from three to one. Eventually, he answered the call.

“Shouyou,” The way Kiyoomi uttered his name was a bit breathless, like he was not expecting for the younger guy to pick up his phone. “you answered.”

“Hi, Omi.” Shouyou greeted despite the heaviness in his chest.

“Wala diay ka nagtrabaho karon?” Shouyou could hear a distinct chime of bells hitting on a glass door—similar to the ones they have at the konbini.

“Wala. Nag-shifting mi.” Then, it dawned to him where Kiyoomi was. “Ayaw ingna naa ka sa konbini karon?”

“Wala.” Shouyou–even though he couldn’t see Kiyoomi–knew he was lying. He heard him breathe into the phone over the sound of the heavy patter of the rain.

“Atikon.” He replied at the same time the sky emitted such a loud rumble. “Kusog man ang ulan, naa kay payong dala?” When he didn’t receive an answer, he mentally cursed Kiyoomi. “Ayaw gawas sa konbini, Omi. Paadto nako dira.”

“Ayaw na.” Kiyoomi protested. “I can run paadto sa akong apartment, you know it’s not that far.”

“Kahit na. Besides, I want to see you.” He didn’t really mean to say that out loud, but it was too late to take it back. “So, please, hulata ko.”

Kiyoomi was taken aback to reply for a mere second. “Okay.” He finally muttered. “Maghulat ko para nimo, Shouyou.” 

__________________

Arriving at the konbini, the sound of the rain has lessened. And the raindrops have faded, creating a lilting sound, but the cold night breeze lingered around his skin, sending chills despite the thick layer of clothing Shouyou has on.

Immediately, he saw Kiyoomi standing by the door, clutching tightly on his messenger bag. Looking at him from afar, Shouyou couldn’t help but feel guilty for ignoring the older guy. For running away.

Even so, running away has always been Shouyou’s option, escaping from the thoughts that he knew would keep him up in the wee hours of the night, his pillows hearing the hushed cries he makes. Especially now, running away seemed like the better option because once he decided to stop, his mind would reel him back to Kiyoomi–so he runs again.

And yet, he has grown tired of running, especially if the person he runs away from catches up to him, and that’s when Shouyou realizes that running away only makes you worn out; it will never solve any problems.

Shouyou realizes that it’s better to stay put and solve the problem despite the pain it will cause him in the process. Rather than running away while carrying the baggage on his back without any plans of leaving them behind.

So instead, he stepped forward.

One step.

Two steps.

Three steps.

Closer to Kiyoomi.

“Omi.” Kiyoomi was blinking rapidly, as if he couldn’t believe Shouyou was actually standing right in front of him. He looked completely surprised at first and it probably took him a minute or so to compose himself. “Tara? Let’s get you home.”

Still in the state of shock, he murmured: “But, I’m already home.”

Whipping his head as swiftly as he could, he stared at the older guy in bewilderment. He felt the blush rising to his cheeks. “Huh? Unsa?”

Kiyoomi bit his bottom lip, shaking his head. “Wala.”

 _Atikon_. 

__________________

Upon entering Kiyoomi’s apartment, Shouyou got hit with a sense of nostalgia–or maybe, uneasiness. _Mao na jud ni_. He thought as he settled himself on the couch, while Kiyoomi went inside his room. His eyes avoided gazing at the kitchen because it would only drive him away from this confrontation that’s been long overdue.

When Kiyoomi came back, he was still wearing his work clothes. “You can stay here for the night, kung gusto ka.” He handed him a clean towel and an extra set of clothes. “I know the rain already stopped, but it will be a hassle if mubalik pa ka sa inyong dorm tapos mukalit lang og ulan usab.”

“Uh,” Shouyou uttered, trying to find the right words as he fidgeted with the clothes and towel on his lap. “okay lang sa imo?”

Kiyoomi cracked a small smile, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Nag-offer ko, Shouyou, which means I’m okay with it.”

“Ah, okay, thanks.” Shouyou spoke quietly. He fell silent right after that, he didn’t know what else to say–no, he did know what to say, but his throat closed up as the words lay unsaid on the tip of his tongue.

Was this the right time to talk about the kiss? Was this the right time to confess? But, how should he do it? He couldn’t just blurt it out all of a sudden. Kiyoomi deserves better than that after Shouyou had ignored him for days. Although Shouyou was never good with words, he was sure of what he felt for the older guy.

Love has never been something Shouyou could define–sure, there were many definitions for love that he could find in textbooks, on the internet, and dictionaries, yet none of it could exactly fit what he felt when he looked at Kiyoomi.

There was something about how Kiyoomi would pull down his mask to give Shouyou a faint yet genuine smile whenever he enters the konbini. There was something about how he would get excited every time they would pass by a dog even though he was grumpy most of the time. There was just something about Kiyoomi and the little things he did, the tiny gestures that he did to Shouyou that it may seem like it was nothing, but for Shouyou, it meant something.

So, maybe love has a lot of definitions. And for Shouyou, love is Kiyoomi.

“Shouyou.”

The older guy’s voice created havoc inside Shouyou’s chest. He locked gazes with Kiyoomi, his mouth suddenly went dry as his mind created different possible outcomes this conversation would have. Kiyoomi took reluctant steps, his eyes asking for permission to sit beside Shouyou. _Ngano mangutana man ka na apartment man ni nimo?_ He wanted to ask, but he remained silent. Kiyoomi sat beside him, leaving a respectable distance between them.

Resonating reticence descended over them as they stare at the speck of dust on the floor while a new set of raindrops fall from the sky, smashing roughly on the rooftops. The noise was supposed to fill in the stillness, but even the rain was not enough to drown out the awkward silence that loomed between them.

“Katong nahitabo that Sunday night, I deeply regret it, Shouyou.”

_Oh._

He really didn’t want to regret it. Kissing him, being with him, and loving him–Shouyou never regretted those. However, hearing them coming out from Kiyoomi’s mouth, straightforward and palpable, hurt. It was as if his words were a knife that pierced through his heart. Kiyoomi didn’t just regret it–he _deeply_ regrets it. And that has to mean something, right? He didn’t feel the same way. And no matter how hard Shouyou told himself again and again that Kiyoomi might not reciprocate the feelings he harboured, there was still a part of him–a spark of a flame–that hoped that Kiyoomi might. But, that flame suddenly burned out as quickly as the words Kiyoomi uttered. 

“Sho–wait, ngano ka gahilak? _Shouyou_?” Panic and worry settled on Kiyoomi’s visage as he reached out to hold the younger guy’s hands.

Shouyou closed his eyes tight; an overwhelming wave of sadness crashed him. He didn’t realize he was already crying, not until Kiyoomi pointed it out. He felt really pathetic at the moment. Staring right through Kiyoomi’s eyes, he let the older guy see the pain coursing through his face.

“If you didn’t want to kiss me, Omi, wala nalang unta ka nangutana.” Shouyou managed to let out despite his voice breaking at the end. He felt his hand trembling and he knew Kiyoomi felt it too with the way he was rubbing soothing circles on the back of his hands. “Pero nangutana man gud ka unya nisugot ko. Nisugot ko kay abi nako it was you finally admitting na you felt something for me. That kiss, wala to’y meaning para sa imo? Kay para sa akoa naa, Omi. Maong sakit madungog nga ginapagsisihan lang nimo.”

“Shouyou, pwede pahumanon sa ko nimo?” Kiyoomi quietly asked.

Shoyuou made a frustrated noise. “Para unsa pa, Omi? Naa pa diay mas ikasakit sa imong giingon ganina?”

“I’m in love with you!” Kiyoomi blurted and Shouyou didn’t even realize how close their faces were, not until he could see the way the older guy’s eyebrows furrowed. The way his eyes widened in surprise when he became aware of what he just said. The way his fingers placed on top of Shouyou’s hands twitched, not knowing what to do. His voice sounded rough when he continued talking, but he didn’t let it matter.

“I regret what I did that night tungod kay it felt like I was taking advantage of you when we were clearly intoxicated. But, given any circumstances, Shouyou, kung asa pareho ta sober and in the right state of mind, I would kiss the living daylights out of you. Only if you’d let me.” 

When Shouyou let his gaze wander around Kiyoomi's face, he was met with the older's eyes that flickered numerous emotions in just a mere second, that it was quite hard for Shouyou to decipher each one. But there was one emotion that he was familiar with. He also felt that emotion whenever he looked at Kiyoomi, and it was such a bizarre revelation if Shouyou was honest. It never occurred to Shouyou that Kiyoomi would also look at him longingly the same way he looked at the older guy.

Shouyou lost all his inhibitions after that.

He gripped Kiyoomi’s hands, pulling the older guy towards him as he engulfed him with a warm embrace. He buried his face into the crook of Kiyoomi’s neck, and he could feel how the older guy wrapped his arms around Shoyuou’s waist, tightening his hold. Kiyoomi was scared that if he didn’t hold Shouyou tightly, the younger guy would slip away from his grasp–he didn’t want that to happen again.

“Sure na jud ka na love ko nimo?” Shouyou finally asked although his voice was muffled.

“Yeah.” Kiyoomi breathed out, ignoring the way Shoyuou’s lips moved against the skin of his neck. “I’m certain about you, Shouyou.”

“Even though mag samok ko every now and then with my school works?”

“Yes.”

“Even though umeboshi lang akong kayang mahatag sa imo?”

Kiyoomi chuckled at that. “Yes, Shouyou. Besides, I’d rather choose you than umeboshi.”

Shouyou pulled away from their hug. He was wearing a wide grin and despite the raging rain outside, it was as if Kiyoomi had his personal sun right in front of him–tangible and bright as ever.

“Maayo,” he giggled. “because I love you too, Omi.”

Kiyoomi was staring at him owlishly, drawing in a gasp. “Huh?”

“Kiyoomi Sakusa, ikaw, sa tanan tao, angay ka higugmaon. Gahapon, karon, ug sa umaabot–gihigugma, ginahigugma, ug higugmaon tika.”

Tender. His voice was purely tender like he has poured every ounce of love and adoration with his confession.

Kiyoomi could feel his eyes prickle with fresh tears, he let out a wet laugh, close to disbelief. Disarray of thoughts clouded his mind; there was so much he wanted to say, to admit, but it felt as though his words could never compare to what Shouyou had dropped in the open between the little space they had.

Instead, this was what he said:

“May I kiss you, Shouyou?”

Shouyou reached his hands out, gently cupping the curly-haired guy’s cheeks in such a delicate manner. Every fear, every worry, and every doubt had vanished when he felt Kiyoomi’s lips against his. He let himself melt with the way Kiyoomi held and kissed him softly.

Love has never been something Shouyou could define and it has never been something he expected to find either. Yet, with Shouyou laughing while Kiyoomi peppered his entire face with feather-light kisses, he fathomed that maybe he didn’t need to have a definite meaning of what love is. He didn’t have to find love.

Not when Kiyoomi Sakusa waltzed into his life and brought love with him along the way.

__________________

Weeks after they confessed and poured their hearts out for each other, it was Kiyoomi who asked Shouyou to be his boyfriend. And without any hesitation, the younger guy said yes. Agreeing to be Kiyoomi’s partner has been relatively easy for Shouyou because there was really no point in prolonging their agony when it was glaring obvious for the both of them that they want to be together and make their relationship official.

What caught Shouyou’s attention days later was Kiyoomi staring blankly at the TV screen in his small living room, his curly hair was disheveled, and it looked as though he was in deep thought.

Shouyou carefully made his way towards the couch, sitting beside Kiyoomi. He linked his arm with Kiyoomi’s, pressing his cheek against his chest. “Omi?”

“Sho,” Kiyoomi said as if he just realized that Shouyou was beside him. The younger guy didn’t even have to explicitly ask what was wrong, just by letting his fingertips graze on the older guy’s skin, Kiyoomi already knew what he meant. “It’s just…you won’t regret saying yes to me, right?”

That was probably the first time Shouyou had heard Kiyoomi sounded so uncertain and nervous. It almost took Shouyou by surprise. “Omi.”

The older guy turned to look at his boyfriend, eyes brimming with doubt. It was so different from the Kiyoomi Sakusa that Shouyou knew–confident with how he brings himself, unwavering with his words, and certain about the things he wants–but this Kiyoomi right beside him was far from that. Despite his tall height, he appeared so small.

Shouyou took Kiyoomi’s hand and placed it on his chest, right above his heart. It wasn’t beating erratically, unlike before, but his heart was beating calmly because having Kiyoomi near him was enough to make Shouyou feel at peace.

“Whatever happens, I won’t ever regret saying yes to you.” 

  
  
  
  


**2017**

A year came on the blooming flowers of spring.

Months passed by in a blink of an eye, Shouyou had long since stopped counting down the days since time seemed to have lost in the changing season. However, despite the seasons changing, Shouyou and Kiyoomi’s love for one another was still the same. Constant and unfaltering. There was never a single day that they would forget to remind the other how much they love each other.

Maybe there was one thing that changed, and that was Shouyou spending way too much time at Kiyoomi’s apartment. If he was there every Sunday a year before, then he was practically living at his boyfriend’s place now. Their school dorm was strict with visitors entering their premises, so Shouyou has no choice but to stay at Kiyoomi’s whenever his shift ended late at night. It’s not as if Kiyoomi minds, though–he actually loves it when his boyfriend spends the night at his apartment.

Although, the rare occasion when Shouyou would stay at his boyfriend’s apartment is when he gets sexiled by Tobio.

And that rare moment happened tonight when he received a message from his roommate just in time when he was about to exit the konbini.

 **[Tobio, 11:45 PM]** naa si kei

 **[Tobio, 11:45 PM]** sorry 😔

 **[Me, 11:46 PM]** (￣︿￣)

 **[Me, 11:46 PM]** keep safe

After replying, Shouyou exited the konbini and went straight to Kiyoomi’s apartment all the while texting him if he can stay for the night and his boyfriend replying _Di man nimo kailangan mananghid. You’re always welcome sa akong apartment, Sho._

It was just a simple reply. Yet, it was enough to make Shouyou’s stomach churn in delight. A wide grin formed on his lips as he shoved his phone back inside his jean’s pocket. Kiyoomi’s words of affirmation are enough for Shouyou to fall recklessly and immensely in love all over again.

As he entered, he immediately noticed the TV screen turned on and a movie being played. Placed on top of the wooden table were a bowl of popcorn and two bottles of soda. Shouyou knew right then that Kiyoomi prepared this for their abrupt movie night. The younger gave Kiyoomi a peck on his lips before ushering inside the living room. 

“Go take a shower, hulaton lang tika diri.” Kiyoomi instructed and Shouyou was quick to obey his boyfriend.

Right away, Shouyou took a shower in less than fifteen minutes. And as fast as he could, he changed into a much more comfortable clothes—Kiyoomi’s, to be exact. When he was done, he placed the hair towel around his neck as he went out of the bathroom. 

He sat comfortably next to his boyfriend who was busy watching a compilation of dog videos on his phone. Focusing his entire attention on his boyfriend, he turned his entire body to face him and he instantly noticed that Shouyou’s hair was still damp.

“Sho, basa pa imong buhok.”

Shouyou shook his head like what wet dogs do and it earned a chuckle from Kiyoomi, who clutched on the ends of the towel to stop Shouyou from making himself dizzy. The two of them ended up laughing at Shouyou’s stupidity and at Kiyoomi who just enabled his boyfriend to be one.

“Come here, I’ll dry your hair.”

Shouyou leaned closer as Kiyoomi took the towel wrapped around his neck, and then he gently ruffled his wet hair with the soft fabric. It was nice—Kiyoomi taking good care of him felt nice.

“Sleepy na ka?” He heard Kiyoomi ask when he zoned out for a while.

He mumbled a _no_ before he rested his forehead on his boyfriend’s chest. “Watch ta, please.”

Once Kiyoomi was done placing the towel on the couch’s armrest to let it dry, he sat properly, facing the TV screen while Shouyou clung to his side, squishing his cheek on Kiyoomi’s broad chest. 

They stayed like that for the entirety of the movie. Kiyoomi’s fingers tenderly sifting through Shouyou’s hair just as Shouyou listened to Kiyoomi’s heartbeat falling in sync with the stable and serene rhythm of his own. The older guy’s attention was fixated on the movie displayed on the TV screen. 

But, Shouyou was far too gone to make sense of what was going on all throughout the film—not when the beating of his boyfriend’s heart was soothing enough to lull him to sleep.

His drowsiness was gone in an instant when the ending credits rolled up on the screen, a familiar old love song reverberated around the living room. Shouyou stood up from the couch and stretched his hand out for Kiyoomi to take.

“Unsa man?” Kiyoomi asked, a bit confused as to what was his boyfriend up to.

“Dance with me.” Shouyou giggled, his eyes glimmering with joy.

Kiyoomi couldn’t help but snort. Sometimes, he couldn’t believe how easily Shouyou could rope him into doing these things. Was this what being in love felt like? Was this what they called being whipped for your partner? That whatever they asked you to do, you’d do it in a heartbeat? If so, then Kiyoomi wouldn’t mind. For as long as he gets to see Shouyou happy, well, that’s all that matters for Kiyoomi.

Standing in front of Shouyou, Kiyoomi noticed the huge height difference they have and he couldn’t help but laugh in adoration.

“Ngano?”

“Putot man jud diay ka.”

Shouyou glared at him. “Sige ka, I’ll step on your foot on purpose.”

Kiyoomi’s smile was still wide as ever. “Ayaw. I’ll stop na.”

Shouyou only rolled his eyes as he placed his hands on top of Kiyoomi’s shoulders. “You’re just too good to be true. Can’t take my eyes off of you.”

With delicate fingers, Kiyoomi gripped Shouyou’s waist, humming along to the song. Shouyou, on the other hand, nuzzled his face against Kiyoomi’s chest, swaying with the beat. The moment was perfect—too perfect—that Kiyoomi thought it was also the right time to drop the question he was dreading to ask.

“Sho,” He mumbled, his chin resting on top of his boyfriend’s head. “If I ask you to move in with me, musugot ka?”

He felt Shouyou stop his movements. “Huh?”

“I’m asking you to move in with me.” Kiyoomi repeated.

They were no longer dancing in the middle of the living room. Instead, they were just holding each other, held breaths and a question that was dying to be answered hanging between them.

“Musugot man ko, Omi.” Shouyou had said, pulling away from Kiyoomi’s grasp.

He looked down at his boyfriend whose gaze was downcast. “I can hear a _but_ coming though.”

Shouyou sighed, slumping his shoulders. “Maulaw ko.”

Kiyoomi raised his eyebrow in bafflement. “Ngano maulaw man?”

Albeit reluctant, he wanted Kiyoomi to know his bare thoughts. “I don’t want you to think nga kana lang akong apas.” When Kiyoomi only stared at him, Shouyou knew that he was trying to understand him. “I love you because you’re Kiyoomi, simple as that.”

Comprehending what Shouyou meant, he let his hands move to cup his boyfriend’s cheeks as he looked straight through his brown eyes that were brightly lit under the living room’s light. “And that’s why I’m asking you to move in with me because I love you, Sho. Wala ko ga-isip na you’re after my money because I know you’re independent and hardworking enough to earn it on your own.”

Shouyou’s lips quivered and he could feel his eyes burning. “Pero Omi, the money I earn sa akong part-time, dili siya enough. Dili nako mabayaran akong share sa expenses.”

Kiyoomi’s face was serious as the pad of his thumbs gently caressed Shouyou’s cheeks. “Don’t worry. I didn’t ask you to live with me para magbayad ka sa bills. I’ll handle that.”

Shouyou pouted, still unconvinced. He was frustrated, mostly at himself, for not being capable enough to give Kiyoomi everything that he deserves. He felt annoyed at the fact that he was only taking and taking, and there was little to none that he could offer to his boyfriend.

“You know, I’ll tell you a secret.” Kiyoomi timidly said. If Shouyou can be honest with his thoughts, then Kiyoomi can also do it. Shouyou stared at him in anticipation. “I’ve been imagining nga I’ll wake up next to you every morning. I’ll make breakfast for the both of us or we’ll both prepare breakfast every weekend. Whenever I come home from work, I keep imagining myself saying _Sho, naa nako_ or _Sho, I’m home_ unya you’ll be there to welcome me with hugs and kisses. Then, we’ll both fall asleep in each other’s arms when night time comes.”

A look of shock and fondness passed through Shouyou’s face. The song they were dancing to earlier faded away in an instant and all Shouyou can hear was the thrumming of his heart beating so wildly in his chest. The burning continued, but this time, his eyes started to gloss over with the blur of fresh tears. However, he bit his lips to fight it back.

“I’m looking forward to all of that, Sho. That’s why nangutana ko kung gusto ka mupuyo kauban ko tungod kay ikaw akong gusto makita pagmata nako, ikaw akong gusto makita bago ko matulog. Ug sa imo ko gusto muuli.”

“Pero ikaw, Omi? Unsa man akong mabuhat para sa imo?” 

“I’m not asking for much, Sho. Higugmaa lang ko.” Kiyoomi uttered it so softly that Shouyou barely managed to catch his words that left his mouth before silence took over.

The stillness lasted for a minute before Shouyou spoke. “Okay.” He finally breathed out. “Okay, I’ll move in with you. Ug higugmaon tika hangtod sa hangtod.” 

“I love you, Sho.”

“I love you too, Omi.”

And then and there, they both thought it would be nice if things could stay like this forever. 

__________________

**[Me, 3:21 PM]** tobol (ง ื▿ ื)ว

 **[Me, 3:21 PM]** kay omi nako nga apartment mag stay

 **[Tobio, 3:29 PM]** ay speed kang gamaya ka hahaha ingat! kung mubisita ka balik sa dorm, text lang 😊

 **[Tobio, 3:30 PM]** happy kaayo ko para nimo 😊 unta kamo na jud hangtod sa umaabot

 **[Me, 3:31 PM]** kami man jud (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

__________________

It was bordering midnight when Shouyou’s shift at the konbini ended. But, despite it being late at night, the konbini was filled with incessant murmurs from a group of friends, the sound of food wrappers, and the same pop song that has been on loop the entire time he was on duty.

His boss, Ukai–who was cooped up inside his small office for hours now–suddenly opened the door just in time when Shouyou was about to knock, his fist mid-air. Surprised, he slowly let his hand down to his side.

“Shouyou!” Ukai seemed to be surprised too upon seeing Shouyou in front of him. “Muuli na ka?”

Shouyou nodded, a gawky smile on his lips. “Mananghid lang unta ko nga muuli nako. Good night, boss.”

Ukai cackled, using his fist to ruffle Shouyou’s hair. “Ayaw na lagi anang boss, masuko gani imong Mama sa ako.” Shouyou backed away from Ukai’s bony fingers digging through his head. “Speaking of Mama, abi nimo’g wala ko kabantay. Uyab nato nimong kulot og buhok nga maldito, no?”

“Oo,” Shouyou admitted, his entire face beaming with pride. “Kabalo naman pud si Mama.”

It was a fine Sunday morning when Shouyou decided to tell his mother about his relationship with Kiyoomi. Frankly speaking, he wasn’t really sure how his mother would take such unexpected news, especially that Shouyou never told his mother about his sexuality or preferences. He knew dropping such a grand announcement would probably not go well, but Kiyoomi was with him, holding his clammy hand, and it somehow eased the tension crawling on his skin. Nonetheless, it was still nerve-wracking the moment his mother answered his video call request.

“Ma!” Shouyou chirped, unable to hide his uneasiness. “Musta?”

His mother’s face appeared on the screen moments later. “Nak! Okay lang man mi ni Natsu diri. Gimingaw na daw siya sa iyahang kuya.”

“Ikaw diay Ma, wala ka gimingaw nako?” Shouyou tried to joke around in a lame attempt to hide the jitters of his voice.

“Gimingaw pud gud, Nak.” His mother answered truthfully, a sincere smile on her lips. “Ikaw, musta naman ka dira?”

“Okay lang, Ma.” He replied. His gaze flickered to Kiyoomi who was sitting across him, their fingers interlocked. This was it. He was finally going to say it. “Kanang Ma, naa unta ko’y ingnon ba.”

His mother must have noticed the agitation in his voice because she panned her phone’s camera closer to her face, inspecting her son’s face. “Unsa man na? Nganong murag kalibangon man ka, Nak? Makulbaan man pud ta nimo.”

Breathe in. Breathe out. Inhale, and exhale.

“Ma, naa nako’y uyab.”

The silence that followed after was something to be expected, but Shouyou couldn’t help but grip the phone and Kiyoomi’s hand tighter, his legs were beginning to shake. The stillness stretched for so long, it was becoming gut-wrenching that Shouyou almost pressed the end call button.

It felt like an eternity had passed when his mother decided to finally speak. “Shouyou, pagtarong dira. Ipakita daw ang nawng ana. Asa man?”

Upon hearing that, Kiyoomi sat next to Shouyou straight away, appearing on the small screen. “Hello po, Tita.” He introduced, waving his hand. “I’m Kiyoomi Sakusa po. Uyab ni Shouoyu.”

A pleasant gasp left his mother’s mouth once she saw Kiyoomi’s face. “Shouyou, sure ka na uyab na nimo? Wala na nimo gigayuma kang bataa ka?”

“Ma!” Shouyou whined.

Kiyoomi was smiling, unfazed with her question. “Wala po ko gigayuma ni Shouyou, Tita. I sincerely love your son.”

Shouyou took a glimpse of his boyfriend, and Shouyou could feel his cheeks flushing in deep red when there was no trace of mirth in Kiyoomi’s voice, only endeared. “Ay, maayo jud na, Nak. Isumbong lang sa akoa kung dili na magtarong si Shouyou dira, Nak ha?”

“Hala, si Mama kung makatawag og anak sa akong uyab.” Shouyou pouted as if he was a petulant child being ignored by his mother. “Ma, ako imong tinuod na anak diri.”

“Alingasa naman ka’g nawng, Nak.” His mother said in a teasing manner which made Kiyoomi laugh uncontrollably beside him. “Sige na! Babye na kay magluto pa ko.”

“Bye, Ma!” Shouyou was quick to wave his hand in front of the camera, enthusiastically bidding his mother goodbye.

When Shouyou panned the camera towards his boyfriend’s direction, Kiyoomi wiggled his slender fingers as a form of wave. “Bye po, Tita.”

Shouyou was about to end the call when his mother said his boyfriend’s name with conviction. “Kiyoomi.”

“Yes po?” Kiyoomi had asked. He wanted to sound casual and confident, but the sudden shift of the tone of her voice made him quite fretful.

“Ayaw na pagtawag og Tita nako. Mama nalang.” She said it with a fond expression on her face. Her smile was one of the brightest Shouyou has ever witnessed.

Kiyoomi let out a breath of relief. “Okay po, Mama.”

“Amping mong duha ha. Love you.”

Then, the video call ended.

Shouyou dropped the phone on the table with a clamor, and then he proceeded to engulf his boyfriend with a tight embrace. Kiyoomi hugged him back just as tight. So, this was what it felt like to be accepted.

The memory was heartwarming, deeply comforting that Shouyou almost forgot he was still standing in front of Ukai as he reminisced that specific moment at the back of his mind. It was definitely one of the best moments of his life. 

Shouyou was pulled out from his reverie when Ukai spoke out of a sudden. “If matabangan ka niya financially, then why not stop from working diri sa konbini?”

Shouyou unconsciously reached for his ring finger, rubbing it softly. He probably didn’t mean to do it, but Ukai noticed. But, he got the underlying message and he clearly understood.

_Love._

Shouyou has never had the luxury to hold an ample amount of money throughout his life, but he has an abundance of love in his system. And if Kiyoomi is willing to accept his love–even if Shouyou is sometimes in jagged shape of a human being–then Shouyou would give it to him in a heartbeat.


	2. Pagtapos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His I love you sounded a lot like Goodbye.

**2018**

Living with Kiyoomi was exhilarating in the best and worst ways possible. With the days, weeks, months and a year that have passed, Shouyou discovered a few things that Kiyoomi did: 

One, he cleans up after Shouyou’s mess. 

It wasn’t as if Shouyou was an untidy person. Truth be told, he was actually as organized as Kiyoomi. Still, whenever he was stressed and loaded with school work, his belongings are left cluttered in the living room where he frequently studies. 

Most of the time, Kiyoomi would be welcomed by the sight of his boyfriend dozing off, cheek squished on the book or papers he was reviewing. This is when Kiyoomi would organize Shouyou’s stuff; piling the books and papers neatly and placing the scattered pens and highlighters inside the pencil pouch. Kiyoomi would also carry his boyfriend to let him sleep on their bed. Shouyou would sometimes feel like a little kid being surprised whenever he wakes up to find out he was already in the comfort of his bed. 

The moment he goes back to the living room to check on his things, it still leaves him astonished. Especially each time, there would be a post-it note on top of his book, a declaration of _I love you’s_ , cheer-up messages, and doodles of what seems to be Kiyoomi and Shouyou with hearts all over them. It makes Shouyou’s heart melt and his laugh more melodic than it’s supposed to be because even if Kiyoomi could never draw for shit, the gesture was still enough to make Shouyou feel warm all over. 

Two, he asks for Shouyou to tie his necktie despite the fact he is clearly able to do it himself. 

It started during the first day of Autumn–leaves falling from the trees, and its colors varying from dull yellow to terracotta to burgundy. 

They were both getting ready; Kiyoomi for work and Shouyou for school, when the younger guy noticed his boyfriend just idly standing in front of the mirror, his necktie undone. So Shouyou walked towards him, utterly clueless because Kiyoomi was not fond of being late; he was always on time. It really was bizarre when he saw the older guy pout because he couldn’t even fathom how a six-foot-tall man can be alluring and adorable at the same time. 

“Unsa’y problema?” Shouyou asked when he stood in front of him. 

Kiyoomi jutted his bottom lip out, emphasizing his pout. “Help me tie this?”

Shouyou, obviously not seeing that one coming, let out an ugly sound. “ _Huh_? Kabalo naman ka ana.”

“Yeah,” Kiyoomi said, and then he placed his hands on Shouyou’s waist, “but my hands are currently occupied.” 

Shouyou playfully punched Kiyoomi’s shoulder, and it elicited a laugh from the other. With squirming hands, he tied his boyfriend’s necktie. Too concentrated on making it look presentable, Shouyou had his eyebrows furrowed, and he was taken aback when Kiyoomi pressed a soft kiss in between. Forgetting about the necktie, the older guy pulled him closer and whispered in his ear.

“No need getting so worked up, Sho. You’ll be the one undoing it later, anyway.” 

Flustered, Shouyou pulled away, not missing the smirk that was plastered on Kiyoomi’s lips. He wanted to kiss that teasing look off his face. “Pagtarong, Omi.” 

Kiyoomi chuckled, deep and husky. “Thank you, Sho. I love you.” Then, he kissed him on his forehead. 

After that, Shouyou sees himself tying Kiyoomi’s necktie every morning even though his boyfriend no longer tells him to do so; it was as if he was grown accustomed and he might never say this out loud, not when Kiyoomi might tease him for it, but he actually finds comfort in doing this for his boyfriend.

Three, Kiyoomi sleeps in during weekends that’s why it’s mostly Shouyou who cooks their breakfast during that time of the day.

So, imagine his confusion when he heard kitchen utensils clattering and clashing early in the morning. With a muddled brain, he tried to wake his boyfriend up, afraid a burglar might have trespassed inside their apartment. However, when he reached out for a warm body next to him, he was touching an empty space. That was when he realized it was probably Kiyoomi making breakfast and creating such clamorous noises.

_Huh?_

Frantically, Shouyou got off the bed and rushed to the kitchen. There, he saw Kiyoomi’s unruly hair and broad back, unaware that Shouyou was already awake as he was too focused on making breakfast for the both of them. He didn’t know what Kiyoomi was cooking, but it smelled great; the aroma flitted across the small space. Shouyou wouldn’t mind waking up to this every single day.

Shouyou was too busy admiring his boyfriend while standing on the entryway of the kitchen, he didn’t notice that Kiyoomi was staring at him with wide eyes like he didn’t expect him to be awake at this hour.

“Surprise dapat ni.” He grunted. “I wanted to make you breakfast kay you’ve been doing it these past few months.”

“Omi.” Shouyou bounced over to him, mouth beaming as he engulfed the older guy with an embrace. “I love you.”

Kiyoomi was still wearing a grumpy expression, but he gave Shouyou a deep and sensual kiss before he muttered against his lips: “I love you too.”

Shouyou felt the corners of his lips tugging up into a smile and he wondered, will he ever get used to this feeling? Will he ever get used to waking up every morning at the sight of his lover, and closing his eyes with the face of Kiyoomi being the last thing he’d seen? The prospect of having this domesticity and having Kiyoomi for a long time were enough to make the butterflies in his stomach dance like the million stars in the night sky.

__________________

Everything was going so well. 

Until gradually—like the sand inside an hourglass that has started to run out, leaving the other side empty—Shouyou could see it more clearly, how the love they once shared had finally shown cracks that he had never seen before. 

The cracks started small, just a line similar to a random scribble on the wall; missed phone calls, unanswered text messages, being late for dinner, and not having that much time for each other anymore. 

Shouyou understood. 

Life before wasn't as arduous as it was now. Demanding was what Shouyou would call it. Both of their worlds demanded way too much of their time, and it ended up compromising what should have been Shouyou and Kiyoomi's time together. It left them nothing but a dark room, bodies sleeping soundly on the bed, and tiredness and longing seeping in their bones.

Shouyou would have absolutely understood it all. 

But, what he couldn't understand was, _Did Kiyoomi forget about our dinner plans?_

The alarm clock on the bedside table buzzed, signaling an hour had passed. And it felt as though it was taunting Shouyou with an absence. 

In the midst of them preparing for their different activities in the morning, Kiyoomi had mentioned about getting home early after weeks of grueling work. Ecstatic, Shouyou suggested they should eat dinner together, to which Kiyoomi agreed. 

So, he spent the entire afternoon preparing and cooking for their dinner, hoping Kiyoomi would love it. Dinner wasn't a grand occasion, really, but the thought of eating with his boyfriend after a long time was something he was expecting. 

However, it seemed like the cracks were getting bigger. 

Shouyou's patience was wearing thin when it was already past eight in the evening. Kiyoomi was not even answering his calls, and his messages were left unread. Shouyou was starting to be annoyed and worn out. He looked in disdain at the food on the table, which had grown cold. 

Indeed, Kiyoomi was a busy man. Managing a business wasn't an easy job besides, this was Kiyoomi's dream, to be a top manager in a successful company. And nothing could stop him until he reached the peak of his career.

Yet, Shouyou couldn't help but ask for a little bit of his time and attention. In a way, begging his boyfriend with such made him feel pathetic; it made him feel like a kid seeking approval. 

When the clock struck precisely thirty minutes after ten, Shouyou stood up and placed each food inside the plastic containers. Then, he put it inside the refrigerator before climbing up in their bed. 

So much for expecting something and then getting disappointed in the end. 

The younger guy must have fallen asleep because when he woke up, it was already past midnight. Kiyoomi's side of the bed was still cool and unwrinkled, indicating that his boyfriend wasn't home yet.

But then, there was a sound of footsteps outside their bedroom door. Kiyoomi pushed open the door, closing it quietly once he entered. Shouyou couldn't see him since the entire room was dark, so he decided to listen. 

Shouyou knew Kiyoomi was walking straight to their bed because he felt it dip beside him. He had his back turned away, which he was grateful for since he can feign asleep. Regardless of him pretending to be asleep, when Kiyoomi's lithe fingers ran through his orange-colored hair, he leaned into his touch. 

"Are you awake?" Kiyoomi asked, pressing a soft kiss on his nape. "Daghan kaayo'g pagkaon sa refrigerator. Did you cook them?" 

The question felt like a bullet shot right through his heart.

"Nakalimot ka?" 

"Huh? Nakalimot sa?" Kiyoomi's voice was lilted with complete confusion. 

"You agreed to have dinner with me." Shouyou answered, swallowing the lump in his throat. "Pero nakalimot yata ka. Sagdi nalang, I'll just throw them out sa buntag." 

Kiyoomi made an incredulous noise. "No. I know it's late, pero come on, let's eat dinner." 

Shouyou bit on his lip as he shook his head. "Ayaw na, Omi. You must have been busy sa trabaho, dapat mag rest na ka." 

Kiyoomi got up from the bed and made his way in front of his boyfriend, kneeling on the floor as he cradled the younger's face on his hand. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry." 

Shouyou wanted to say that it was okay. That he knew he didn't mean to do it. That stuff like this always happen, so it was just natural to miss something trivial as dinner. But, only tears slipped from his eyes. _Pathetic_.

"Sho. _Baby_ ," Kiyoomi felt the guilt clawing at his chest as he listened to Shouyou cry on his shoulder. "I'm so sorry." 

Shouyou pulled away from Kiyoomi's grasp, wiping away the tears on his cheeks. "Kung gigutom ka, pagkaon na didto. Or kung gikapoy na ka, tulog na. Good night, Omi." Then, he turned to face the other side. 

Kiyoomi stroked his boyfriend's arm. "Sho, please. You know I don't have time para makipag-away. I want to fix my mistake." 

Shouyou scoffed, flinching at the word _time_. He sat up on the bed, frustrated and visibly hurt. "Ngano, Omi? Kanus-a ba ka nagka-oras para sa ako sukad?" 

Kiyoomi opened his mouth to answer, but his mind supplied him nothing. The last time they spent proper time together felt like a distant memory. 

"When you agreed to have dinner, I was excited kay finally makauban na tika. I never asked anything from you, Omi. Karon lang." There was an onslaught of emotions washing over Shouyou, and his voice slowly became a whisper. "I felt neglected, Omi. I felt so lonely eating alone every dinnertime and sleeping in this bed only to wake up nga you're already preparing for your work. The cycle goes on, Omi and I just miss you, okay? Gimingaw nako nimo."

He buried his face in his hands, ashamed from crying too much. Kiyoomi felt terrible. He never meant to hurt his boyfriend let alone make him release such heartwrenching cries. He stood up, shifting closer to his boyfriend as he encircled him in an embrace.

"I'm sorry. I'll do better from now on." Kiyoomi whispered, kissing the top of his head as his hand soothingly petted his back. Shouyou gripped Kiyoomi's blazer tightly, pulling him closer. The only sound coming out from Shouyou was his hushed cries as Kiyoomi whispered another set of apologies. If he has to say it until Shouyou forgives him, then he will do it. 

Getting exhausted from the cooking and the crying, he pulled away from Kiyoomi's embrace, wiping away the dried tears on his flushed face. "Kaligo na didto." 

Still unsure if Shouyou was feeling better, Kiyoomi just stood awkwardly at the foot of their bed. "Sho, you know I love you, right?" Shouyou glanced at his boyfriend and nodded timidly. "But, I want to make it up to you. Ingna lang ko unsa akong kailangan buhaton." 

"Omi, just give me time with you." Shouyou quickly uttered, gaze downcast as he fiddled with his fingers. "Kana lang." 

"Okay." Kiyoomi said it like a promise that he intends to keep. "Sho, okay lang ta?" 

Lying was something Shouyou was particularly not good at. So, he answered him truthfully. "We will be, Omi." 

The gap between the cracks started to lessen at a leisure pace as Shouyou and Kiyoomi took their time to seek the love and warmth they have been yearning for. 

__________________

Things went slightly better after that incident. 

Kiyoomi made sure to be out of his office at precisely six, so he can be home in time for dinner with Shouyou. Shouyou also made sure to be more open with his feelings, telling Kiyoomi the thoughts that were running in his mind.

For a few weeks, they communicated properly; texting each other during breaks, notifying that they will be busy so they won't be on their phones as much, and the sudden profession of _I love you_ , and _I miss you, I'll see you later at dinner_. 

It became easier. 

What they didn't know was that their fight was just the calm before the storm. 

  
  
  


**2019**

Graduation was just around the corner.

Shouyou has been extra busy passing all of his requirements to the point that he had to resign from his part-time job at the konbini. Frankly, he didn’t have to work at the konbini after living with Kiyoomi, but he tried to save money for something important. Something that would entirely change his relationship with Kiyoomi. So, despite how heavy it was to balance work and college, he was grateful enough towards Kiyoomi for being there, for grounding him when he often got unsteady.

Albeit the stress he felt and the sleepless nights, hard work really does pay off. All the tiredness and uncertainties left his body the moment his professor, Mr. Takeda, had offered him a job in Sao Paolo. 

"That's huge, Sensei." Shouyou said, completely overwhelmed by the news. 

"You're a great student, Shouyou. Unta you'll accept this job offer because it's a great opportunity para sa imo ug sa imong career." Mr. Takeda advised, patting him on his shoulder. 

Shouyou was buzzing; this was such a big news and he was more excited at the thought of going home and telling his boyfriend about this. He wanted to make a decision with Kiyoomi by his side and he wanted their dreams and future to align with each other. 

He wanted Kiyoomi to be with him when he decided to take a leap. 

Shouyou was twenty-two when he was certain that he'll spend the rest of his life with Kiyoomi. 

__________________

On the other hand, Kiyoomi was called in by his boss to his office suddenly, and he didn’t have any clue what was the reason. Still, he found himself sitting across his boss, and the silence that enveloped them was borderline uncomfortable for Kiyoomi when none of them decided to speak. Kiyoomi was rarely asked to come in here, not unless it was something severely important—so being in here and not knowing anything made him uneasy. 

"Mr. Sakusa," his boss suddenly spoke, voice sounding so authoritative. "If I told you that there would be a new branch for our company in New York and I'm appointing you as the Vice President, would you accept the offer?" 

Kiyoomi was absolutely speechless.

The offer was worth more than a million cash. He subtly pinched his thigh if this was just a dream. However, when he hissed in pain, he blinked furiously because _fuck_ , _it's true_. Kiyoomi must have taken too long to respond because his boss tapped his fingers on his glass table, trying to get his attention.

"Mr. Sakusa?" 

Kiyoomi eagerly nodded, ready to take this opportunity with welcoming arms. "Of course. It would be an honor to accept the offer, Sir." 

Kiyoomi was twenty-nine when he accepted the job offer as the Vice President of their new company branch in New York. 

__________________

Graduation day arrived.

Excited would be an understatement because Shouyou was more than excited; he felt like he could burst from happiness.

Kiyoomi had skipped work to spend this special day with his boyfriend. Unnecessary murmurs and obvious side glances were being thrown their way, but he brushed it off. He wasn't here to be the talk of the town. He was here for Shouyou. 

Shouyou's family was there too: his mother making sure that Shouyou's graduation gown and cap were perfectly placed and clean. His little sister, Natsu, holding a camera in her hand as she scolded her mother to stop doting too much on Shouyou, and then she ushered them at the center of the field to take a photo. 

Kiyoomi told Natsu to join them, and he would take their family photo. Natsu beamed at him, mumbling a small _thank you_ before skipping towards her family. 

Shouyou also took countless photos with his roommate and best friend, Tobio. The photos weren't as normal as Kiyoomi had expected because at one point, Shouyou decided to jump on Tobio's back for a piggyback ride and his best friend didn't see that one coming, which resulted in them almost toppling on the ground. Shouyou only laughed out loud while Tobio sent him a disapproving look. His best friend bid them goodbye when his boyfriend came to fetch him. 

Kiyoomi was watching them, a small smile on his lips, when Shouyou's mother suggested, "Nak, picture mo ni Kiyo." 

"Sige!" Shouyou grinned. His brightness could rival the sun, Kiyoomi thought.

Kiyoomi stood next to his boyfriend, arm around his waist. "Congratulations, Sho. I'm proud of you." He whispered when Shouyou's mother was still busy fiddling with the camera and Natsu helping her mother out. 

"Thank you, Omi," Shouyou whispered, leaning his head on Kiyoomi's chest. He then looked up the same time Kiyoomi glanced down at him. "I got a job offer sa Sao Paolo." 

Time seemed to stop ticking at that moment. 

Kiyoomi could only stare at Shouyou's eyes that have turned into a shade of amber from the sunlight. He was happy—he was brimming with joy with the way his eyes were gleaming as if he was the one who stole all the sunshine in the sky.

"So, did you accept the offer?" 

Shouyou shook his head before he pressed himself closer to Kiyoomi. "Wala pa. I wanted to tell you first before I decide." 

And it hit him right in the core. 

When he got a job offer in New York, Shouyou didn't even come to his mind. All he thought of that moment was he wanted to accept the offer—he needed to. Kiyoomi didn't know what to do or what to say, and before he could even think it through, Shouyou's mother shouted at them to face the camera. 

"One, two, three, smile!" 

Shouyou was smiling so wide his eyes were crinkling when Kiyoomi pressed a kiss on top of his head, repeatedly murmuring _I love you_ 's.

Guilt seized him. Just when did he stop thinking about Shouyou? How could he easily accept the offer without talking things through with his boyfriend? How blinded and tempted was he with the offer that he forgot about Shouyou? How could he _fucking_ forget? 

Despite all the questions running through his mind, one question struck him the most that it almost made him feel sick to his stomach.

How do you go from loving someone and being unsure of what you feel the next day?

__________________

When Kiyoomi came home from work, he immediately noticed the moment he stepped inside that their apartment was completely dark; lights were switched off, and there was an eerie silence that surrounded every corner of the room. Kiyoomi carefully walked towards the wall where the lights switch was located, flicking it on. Then, he made his way to stand in front of their bedroom; he saw a streak of light through the gap under the door. 

Kiyoomi twisted the silver doorknob, pushing the door open to reveal Shouyou sitting on the end of the bed, his entire face covered with both of his hands. Kiyoomi’s eyes caught a glimpse of an opened envelope and a letter on his side. Worried, he kneeled in front of his boyfriend, holding both of his wrists gently as to tell him that he’s _here_ and to ask _what’s wrong_. Shouyou’s hands fell limp in Kiyoomi’s grip, and there was a forlorn expression on his face that Kiyoomi did not understand. 

“Gidawat nimo ang offer sa New York?”

Somehow, it didn’t even sound like a question. More like a statement.

“Yeah.” Kiyoomi simply answered. There was no point in denying, was it? He glanced back on the envelope and upon closer inspection, it was the company’s congratulatory letter for his promotion in New York. “The opportunity was there, Sho. Gusto nako i-grab.”

“Ngano wala ko nimo giingnan?”

Kiyoomi wasn’t sure why Shouyou was getting too worked up about Kiyoomi not telling him this news. He thought at first that maybe his boyfriend was just pissed off being kept in the dark, but he knew there was something else that was going on in his head that he wasn’t saying.

“Busy na kaayo ta. I couldn’t find the right time.” Kiyoomi didn’t know why he lied when in fact he could have just been honest; admit that he was scared, that he was starting to get uncertain about what the future holds for the both of them.

“Yawa man kaayo na nga excuse, Omi!” Shouyou scoffed, obviously angry. Being with Kiyoomi for these past years, there was nothing about Kiyoomi that Shouyou didn’t know–he can practically decipher the fleeting emotions that flash in his eyes, he can read his face like an open book, and he can distinguish if his boyfriend was lying or not. And right now, up close, Shouyou knew he was lying. “Wala man lang jud nisagi sa imong isip na mutawag? Or kahit text man lang? You couldn’t even spare a second para ingnan lang ko nimo?”

The clock ticked, seconds and minutes passed in the weighted silence that loomed between them, tension evident as Shouyou waited for Kiyoomi to answer. Instead, what he got was an averting gaze. With a resolute sigh, Shouyou asked again. “So, if you’re going, unsaon nalang man ta, Omi?”

Kiyoomi pretended he didn’t notice Shouyou’s piercing gaze at the side of his face. “You can come with me if you want to.”

Shouyou was seeing red when he finally exploded. “If _I_ want to? Ngano, ikaw diay, Omi? What do _you_ want?” His eyes were wet with hot, unshed tears. 

Kiyoomi didn’t answer right away, instead he just stared. His heart breaking as he watched his boyfriend’s face contort into a pained expression. Guilt started crawling under his skin, eating him alive, trying to come up with an answer that won’t hurt him any further. But, his mind only came up with a flimsy reply.

“Sho, think about your offer sa Sao Paolo. You’re still young; I’m not going to be the one who will stop you from chasing your dreams. Daghan pa kaayo ka’g makab-ot sa kinabuhi.”

“Omi,” he called out, but his voice was cracking in a sob that he kept holding in. “Ngano the way ka musturya kay you’re thinking of us going in our separate ways?”

“Sho, your future is in Sao Paolo, and I have mine in New York.”

Shouyou bit the bottom of his lip as he took in the sight of Kiyoomi, who was evidently struggling with their conversation. Despite that, he looked at his boyfriend with so much misery in the hazel specks of his eyes, memorizing every curve and every line of his face, the two moles he loved to kiss every night. He wanted to instill Kiyoomi’s face in his mind because he wanted to remember–the person he loved immensely was the same person who tore his heart into pieces, leaving Shouyou to clean up the mess.

“So, ana nalang diay, Omi?” Shouyou forced his voice to be steady, not letting his sobs wreck his body any further.

“You know, I love you, right?”

“Why did your _I love you_ sounded like you’re saying goodbye?”

But what good was his heart when it shuddered to speak what he really wanted to. “I’m sorry, Sho.”

“Unfair kaayo ka.” Shouyou’s voice was breathless, and the velvet box inside his pocket felt heavy. He fished it out of his pocket and shoved it into Kiyoomi’s chest. It created a small thud; Shouyou didn’t bother checking if the box had opened or not because looking at it hurt. This scenario wasn’t what he had imagined proposing to Kiyoomi nor what he had planned for their future. Shouyou should have known that things don’t necessarily happen the way he wants them to be. “Ana ka higugmaon lang tika, and fuck, I did, Omi. I love you. But is my love not enough for you anymore?”

Nothing is permanent in this world; Shouyou knows that. Maybe that’s why people’s decisions and preferences change. Maybe that’s why Kiyoomi’s feelings for Shouyou changed. Maybe Kiyoomi no longer wanted to spend the rest of his life with him anymore. 

It wasn’t even a _maybe_ because, with the way the words had come out of Kiyoomi’s mouth, it felt as though he had long been sure with his decision. And Shouyou can only wonder when things started to change? When did Kiyoomi start walking towards a different path and leaving Shouyou behind? Did Kiyoomi have any plans on telling Shouyou, or will he just leave like a storm raging in and let Shouyou fix the aftermath of his departure alone? 

Shouyou took a deep breath before standing up and walking towards the door. He could feel the tremor in his hands as he slowly reached for the doorknob. He waited, and he ached. He waited in hopes that Kiyoomi would say something and stop him from leaving. He ached because Kiyoomi did precisely nothing. So, this is it? This is how they end. 

“Goodbye, Omi.” 

Kiyoomi watched Shouyou’s retreating figure until he was entirely out of sight. The door was shut gently, and the entire apartment felt empty, cold, and silent. The silence was so antagonizing he discovered that silence could still be deafening. As quiet as Shouyou left, Kiyoomi’s heart was shattering loudly beneath his rib cage. 

One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that your mouth cannot utter. He wanted, _no_ , he needed to tell Shouyou he didn’t mean to fall out of love; that he wasn’t thinking through this at all; that maybe, just maybe, they can still figure this out. Kiyoomi had enough fair shares of regrets in his life, but wounding the heart of the person he loves the most, was a different kind of regret. He didn’t want to be selfish, and ask Shouyou to come back after hurting him. That was too greedy, so letting him go was the only thing Kiyoomi could do. 

He never really cried over trivial matters, but this– _God_ , this was different. The pain was so raw it felt like someone took his heart out of his chest and squeezed it so hard, he forgot how to breathe. He opened the box and in it was a gleaming silver ring, and a wave of sadness came crashing through him that all he could do was stare at the ring he tenderly wore on his ring finger. _It fits perfectly_. 

Although wearing the ring felt like a crime, he no longer has the right to wear this, let alone hold it with his filthy hands. So, he took it off and tucked it back inside the box. Then he proceeded to place it at the back portion of his drawer where he would never see it and never dare to touch it again. 

He’ll forget about the ring. 

Just like he’ll forget about Shouyou.

Someday. 

  
  


**Now**

Years later, life goes on for Kiyoomi. It isn't as cruel as it did to him before. Not when he gets more than enough salary that could sustain him for a lifetime, not when he owns a luxurious apartment and a high-end car, not when he is surrounded with lavishness that men would be envious of. Yet, he still feels empty, he could have all of the grandiose things life has to offer, but there's something missing. Or not something, but someone. 

That's when he realized that it isn't life that's cruel to him. It's love. _Love is cruel_ , he thinks as he stares at the pristine white envelope that lies on top of his office table with his ex-lover's name elegantly written on it and beside is a name he doesn't bother reading. How could he even see it clearly when his eyes are starting to blur from the tears building up?

A wedding invitation. 

As much as it hurts, he opens the envelope with trembling fingers and inside is a tri-fold piece of paper where the guest list is indicated and other words that Kiyoomi can no longer decipher when his entire surrounding is suddenly spinning. He folds the paper back again and pushes it back in the envelope, but he notices a small paper stuck inside. 

That's when the tears come, unbidden. 

He takes it out, opening it in such a slow manner.

It's a letter from Shouyou.

__________________

_ Dear Omi, _

_ Hi, it’s been quite a while na, no? Siguro you’re surprised tungod kay nagparamdam ko. Kabalo ko we haven’t seen nor talked to each other for years and I just popped out of nowhere with a wedding invitation and this letter. Omi, I won’t hold it against you if dili ka makaadto. I would totally understand. Although, it’s not the only reason why I’m writing you this letter. This will somehow be my closure. _

_ Sa tinuod lang, I miss you, Omi. The moment I walked out of your apartment, I started to miss you that I couldn’t move an inch even though I already closed the door. Gusto kaayo ko mubalik. Gusto nako ingnon sa imoha na basig pwede pa, na basig makakita pa ta’g pamaagi to work things out together. That we can both create a future for ourselves and for us. Pero I didn’t want to be selfish that time, Omi. You already had your decision. Unya, ako ato kay sige lang og isip kung asa ta nagbag-o, Omi? When did you start building a future without me in it? Ingato ra kadali para nimo nga kalimtan ko? I never got to ask you these and I never got to hear your answer. _

_ Siguro I never had the guts to ask you kay mahadlok ko sa imong tubag. Nga I was so busy thinking about our future, of marrying you, of creating a family with you, wala ko kabantay na you were slowly letting go of my grasp. I’m sorry, Omi. Sorry kung I was holding onto so many things, wala ko kamalay nga I was loosening my grip sa imo. Sa tanan, ikaw pa jud, Omi. I would have dropped everything in an instant–I was almost close to rejecting the Sao Paolo offer–if I knew I was gonna lose you in the end. I’m so sorry. I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me._

_ For all the apologies nga imong giingon dati, dawat na nako. I forgive you, Omi. Wala man ta nagdayon, wala man nato natuman atong mga pangandoy sa kinabuhi, nagapasalamat gihapon ko tungod kay I got to experience loving you. And for loving me. I hope our relationship gave you the best memories just like it did to me. Tanan memories nato will always have a space in my heart. The years we spent together weren’t that short, but I wished it could’ve been longer. I wished you loved me longer. I wished you fought for me. For us. I wish I did too. I wish we weren’t just a phase before we got our lives together. _

_ Omi, unta malipayon ka karon. Kana lang jud akong gusto para sa imo. Grabe, I’ve seen you through all the highs and lows, and deserve jud nimo maging happy kay you worked so hard to be where you are now. _

_ And we may have pushed each other to reach our dreams; I think you deserve to know I have always thought of getting married to you one day. But, maybe life had other plans for us. _

_ Let me just tell you this one last time: _

_ Gihigugma tika, Omi. Pero hangtod diri na lang ta. _

_ I wish you well. _

_ \- Sho _

__________________

Kiyoomi presses the palms of his hands to his eyes. He’s at loss for words that all he could do is cry in hopes to relieve the pain even for a second. Just when he thought things would get easier after this.

He belatedly realized that when Shouyou left, he also brought Kiyoomi’s heart with him.

People leave strange tiny memories of themselves behind when they walk out of your life. And this is what Shouyou has left that has been plaguing Kiyoomi's mind even years later:

"Omi," Shouyou had said, voice lacing with love and softness. His eyes were glimmering underneath the fluorescent street lamp. "Do you ever think about the future?" 

It was a question he never expected Shouyou to ask at this very moment. Nonetheless, he answered. "Yes. Ngano?"

"Am I in it?" 

Kiyoomi chuckled, pulling Shouyou to his side as they continued walking at the sidewalk. He placed a kiss on his temple before whispering in his ear. 

"Shouyou, you are _it_." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is like the only chaptered fic i finished writing and the longest fic i ever wrote. but, to anyone who is reading this, i'm forever grateful. thank you so much and i appreciate each one of you. wuvyu. i don't know when the english translation would be up bc this fic drained the fuck out of me HAHAHAHA, but i will post it someday. :]
> 
> _may you all find the love that is worth keeping and worth spending the rest of your life with._


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